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books about Tibet...
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General...
Etiquette...
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Etiquette
Meeting and Greeting
Although this custom is fading, it is still regularly used. When
encountering a friend or an acquaintance, a Tibetan removes his hat
and bows while holding his hat in front of his chest. However, if the
person he meets is an official, a senior, or a highly respected
person, a Tibetan person lowers his hat as much as possible when he
bows. The other person should show exactly the same courtesy in
return.
Being a Polite Host or Guest
Whether talking or walking, the host should always let the guest be
first. People must sit cross-legged as it is very rude to place your
legs so that the sole of your shoes or feet point towards other
people.
The hostess or one of the family's children will pour a bowl of yak
butter tea for the guest. The guest must wait quietly until the host
carries and presents the bowl of tea with both hands and the guest
takes the tea from the host in the same manner. Then, he can enjoy the
tea and conversation. As a polite guest, one does not empty his bowl
as a never empty bowl signifies lasting abundance. The host will add
more tea to your bowl to ensure that it is never empty.
During festivals, a guest will be offered chang (a special Tibetan
drink). Before drinking, the guest first lightly dips his third finger
in the bowl, and upon withdrawing his finger from the bowl, snaps the
liquid on the finger into the air. This should be done three times as
a symbol of making a sacrifice to the sky, the earth and one's
ancestors. Afterwards, the guest sips only once from the bowl, and
then allows the host to fill it. This is also done three times, and
the fourth time the guest drinks, he must empty the bowl. After this
process is completed, the guest can drink as much as he likes. In
fact, he must drink a lot or the host will think that he is not
pleased with the treat or that he is very unfriendly. There is a
saying that underlines the importance of this ritual: 'One bowl only
will make good friends enemies.'
Presenting Khatag
Presenting Khtag - a white, loosely woven scarf, is very popular in
Tibet. People present Khatag when they visit parents, worship the
Buddha, see somebody off, welcome someone home, and so on. Generally,
the presenter holds the Khatag with both arms stretched out evenly
before him, and makes a little bow. The receiver accepts it with both
hands held in front of himself (but not overly stretched out) and
immediately puts it on around his neck and wears it, because putting
it down immediately is very rude. However, when presenting Khatag to
seniors, the two arms should be raised up above the head. When
presenting a Khatag to people of the same age or younger, the
presenter can tie the Khatag directly to their necks. It is
interesting that some Tibetans even take a Khatag with them when they
go out in case that they meet friends or relatives; and some Tibetans
even seal Khatag in letters so that they can send their very best
wishes. This custom is derived from the ancient practice of adorning
deities with clothing and has evolved into a greeting of respect and
caring.
Courtesy
Polite language is widely used in Tibet. Tibetans use it when they are
addressing seniors, people with higher social status or people of the
same age and same status. If they call someone, they will add 'la'
after the name to show their respect. Some Tibetans still believe that
photos can steal their soul and whether or not you agree, taking
pictures of people without their permission can be intrusive.
Buddhist Etiquette
When Tibetans worship the Living Buddha, stupas and pagodas, they
prostrate. Devoutly, they raise their hands together high above their
heads, take one step forward, lower their hands to the height of their
forehead, take another step forward, lower their hands before their
chest and take a third step forward. Then they kneel down and stretch
themselves out upon the ground. After arising, they repeat this
process. While they are performing prostrations, they chant sacred
words, usually: Om Mani Padme Hum. Many pilgrims spend several years
travelling from other provinces to Tibet performing prostrations each
and every step of the way. Even though some people have died while on
the road, it is never considered a pity as having travelled toward
Tibet in this manner is a lifelong honour.


